If you read this site, you know I was eagerly anticipating Prometheus. Well, I saw Prometheus over the weekend with a friend. When we left, he asked what I thought. I hesitated before answering. Prometheus was shot beautifully, and it had the quick-moving plot you’d want from an action movie, but the scientists did so many stupid things, and there were certain issues that didn’t sit well with me. I initially wrote it off as, “Oh, Damon Lindelof wrote it, so like Lost, it’s going to have some unanswered questions.” But the more I thought about those issues, the more upset I got. While sitting in the theater, the movie had a weak sort of logic, but the more I thought about Prometheus, the more apparent it was that it was dream logic–it fell apart under the slightest of scrutiny. So if you haven’t seen it already, either wait for it on DVD, or lower your expectations dramatically.
HERE THERE BE SPOILERS
Ok, let’s start with the stupid scientists. You’re on an alien planet, and just because the air is breathable, you take off your helmet?! Who knows what pathogens are in the air? Second, you get an alien infection–you literally have no idea what it is doing to your body–but you don’t isolate yourself immediately? You go out with the rest of the crew, risking infecting them? After seeing dead bodies, you treat the first living creature on an alien planet like a puppy? You have advanced mapping probes, but you get lost in halls? Speaking of probes, they send a 3D map to your command ship–no one on that ship can guide you out of the halls? Why did you even go in there before the mapping was complete? Honestly, for a trillion dollar mission, you’d think they’d hire some more intelligent scientists.
Now for other stupid plot holes and stuff that just rubbed me the wrong way. First, everyone knows the androids in the Alien world are evil. No surprise. But you could argue that they were making this android not only evil, but gay. He watches Lawrence of Arabia and dies his hair–regardless of whether the android hair is real or synthetic, why would real or synthetic hair dye even be on the manifest? What are the point of these scenes?
Second, I’m sure you’ve heard arguments criticizing history as the story of dead, old, white men? Well, this movie lets dead, old white (really white!) mean be responsible for all of creation. No women are needed. Just some dudes who like to make life and destroy it.
Third, And there’s a whole religious element that was weird. These old dudes decide to destroy humanity 2,000 years ago? And the movie takes place during Christmas? Was Jesus an alien? Is that what you’re trying to say? Oh, it gets better. Elizabeth, who is barren, gets pregnant–just like in the Bible. C’mon.
Finally, there was some terribly poor writing near the climax. A falling space ship would fall in an arc, not in a straight line. And another part was even worse, but I’ll let Penny Arcade handle this one, because this comic sums it up perfectly. Ugh, this stupid. It burns.
So as you can guess just by skimming this article, my cons far outweigh the pros. Sometimes I’m ok with a stupid action movie that is fast, explosion-filled, and fun. But I expect more out of Ridley Scott and an Aliens picture. I was really disappointed by this picture. It’s a shame. I had really high hopes.